Today the Dragon Wins

"Today the Dragon Wins" offers information from Fantasy Author and Professional Editor Sandy Lender. You'll also find dragons, wizards, sorcerers, and other fantasy elements necessary for a fabulous story, if you know where to look...

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Sandy Lender is the editor of an international trade publication and the author of the fantasy novels Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings, available from ArcheBooks Publishing, and the series-supporting chapbook, What Choices We Made.

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Stupid Things I Say
Or...The Dragon celebrates POST #1,000 with an homage to spur-of-the-moment-holiday-madness

The UPS and FedEx delivery people usually bypass my apartment and take all packages straight to the apartment manager's office. Why? I'm not sure. It could be that the private entrance on the side of the building is too difficult to find. I mean...there's only a staircase and a door under an awning to announce its presence to the world. It could be "rush." From my work-at-home office spot, I can see the stop sign at the corner on which my apartment sits. The UPS and FedEx trucks usually coast through it on their way past my building. (They're big and easy to notice.) So on days after I'm supposed to have received a package, I check the online tracking features for whatever service was delivering it; see that it was delivered to someone; and call the management office to see if it's there.

Here's where the stupid-Sandy-comment comes in.

I was home (because I usually am--I work here) yesterday evening around 5:30 when the UPS truck freaking STOPPED and the dude delivered a box of my latest book to my door. I was so pleased. The guy said, "I can't believe someone's at their home. All day long, no one's at home, it's after 5 and no one's home. No one's ever home." I felt sorry for him. For some strange reason, my brain kicked out, "I work from home, so you'll always get lucky here."

What the devil? Did I proposition the UPS man?

As soon as I heard it, I wished I could rewind and NOT say anything. But, there ya go. I wished him a merry Christmas and signed off on the box of books hoping he'd have a new job by the end of Christmas season. Eegads.

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Blogger Miriam Newman said...

Hey, you probably gave him the only thing all day that he could laugh about.

1:08 PM  
Blogger BrennaLyons said...

OMG! That's funny. You probably made his day.


1:17 PM  
Blogger Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Oh that's classic. SO sounds like something I would say!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Sandy Lender said...

You're probably right! That job this time of year can't be extreme fun. (I'm sure he was laughing when he got back to his radio/walkie talkie to tell his buddies, "you won't believe what this crazy lady just said to me!")

From Sandy Lender
"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."

1:19 PM  
Blogger RKCharron said...

Hi Sandy :)
Thank you for sharing your faux pas.
I'm still chuckling.
Merry Christmas!

2:40 PM  
Blogger Jamieson Wolf said...

Well the least you could have done was offer him a bit of Holiday Cheer...actually, I think you did. LOL

2:48 PM  
Blogger Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I think you probably made his day, and, hey, your packages may all be delivered directly to your door from now on!

Merry Christmas!

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stella wants to know if you've been reading her "Guide to Better Pick-up Lines?" If they worked for her the would certainly work for you.

3:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He probably loved it! =)


4:40 PM  
Blogger Don said...

That really is the best ever. I just tell them the dog usually doesn't bite as they hand me my package from the steps of the truck.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm torn between quipping "Special delivery" and "Speedy delivery". *evil grin*


12:32 PM  
Blogger Mags said...

That's classic, Sandy! Hilarious! Ah, the things that come out of our mouth when we don't really think about it. Those are the best (and usually funniest) answers. I'm sure he was amused.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's one of those events you're supposed to slyly include in the next big fiction piece you publish... Cuz that kind of stuff never happens for real!};)

9:11 PM  

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