Today the Dragon Wins

"Today the Dragon Wins" offers information from Fantasy Author and Professional Editor Sandy Lender. You'll also find dragons, wizards, sorcerers, and other fantasy elements necessary for a fabulous story, if you know where to look...

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Sandy Lender is the editor of an international trade publication and the author of the fantasy novels Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings, available from ArcheBooks Publishing, and the series-supporting chapbook, What Choices We Made.

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Sunday, February 07, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Why Lizard Poop is Better than Bugs
Or...The Dragon needs to explain this one...

Many of you know of my current "rent problem" and the insane infestation that's taking place. I've been here for 19 months now and for the past four or five months, I've been in a battle for dominance in the apartment. The battle is with a few trillion roaches that the apartment management can't seem to get rid of. (Yes, I'm seeking other living arrangements at this point.) I let a lizard in during a recent cold spell. I bought another. Those guys are doing their job of reducing the bug population, but my sister asked an interesting question: is the lizard poop problem worse than the bug problem? My answer is no. No, the lizard poop is NOTHING. So there are a few little piles once in a while. Stress on the word "little." These are small lizards. It is NOTHING compared to the bug problem. But this got me to thinking...

Top Ten Reasons Why Lizard Poop is Better than Bugs


10. Lizard poop doesn't move.
9. Lizard poop doesn't try to get in opened boxes of cereal or pasta, thus forcing you to tape things closed all the time.
8. Lizard poop is surprisingly cute.
7. Lizard poop is surprisingly non-fragrant when mooshed in a tissue. (BONUS: it leaves no sticky residue after you spray the spot with 409.)
6. Lizard poop can be disguised as a raisin when visitors stop in, whereas a roach running across the floor is always going to be a disgusting, filthy roach running across the floor.
5. Lizard poop can be contained to a lizard terrarium when you're concerned about the lizard's pre-shed health.
4. Lizard poop doesn't try to get on your plate or glass if you set your plate or glass down on the kitchen counter, thus forcing you to throw out your food/water.
3. Lizard poop doesn't startle you when you turn on the kitchen light.
2. Lizard poop doesn't attract other bugs to its poop.
1. Lizard poop only happens once a day (on average).

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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2 Comments:

Blogger Laura M. Crawford said...

Yes, I will take lizard poop over roaches anyday. Keep the lizards. :)

Laura ;)

11:43 PM  
Blogger Sandy Lender said...

Laura, he's sunning himself in the window at the moment. I'll have to gather him up for safety because the exterminator's coming back tomorrow. The one in the den is impossible to "gather" so we just can't spray in there...

Sandy Lender
"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."

10:56 AM  

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