Today the Dragon Wins

"Today the Dragon Wins" offers information from Fantasy Author and Professional Editor Sandy Lender. You'll also find dragons, wizards, sorcerers, and other fantasy elements necessary for a fabulous story, if you know where to look...

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Sandy Lender is the editor of an international trade publication and the author of the fantasy novels Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings, available from ArcheBooks Publishing, and the series-supporting chapbook, What Choices We Made.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Baby Dragon in the Kitchen
Or...The Dragon has another lizard catching bugs

You may or may not be aware that I've been battling bugs for several months. I moved into this apartment 18 months ago. There were some ant problems at first. Solved that with the Truly Nolen folks. But about five or six months ago, neighbors began to leave, new neighbors moved in, a revolving door of "questionables" took up semi-residence directly next door while I'm-not-sure-what-was-going-on took up residence for a few months in the apartment downstairs from next door. Needless to say, the roaches wanted stability. They came to me. I've been fighting them ever since.

The apartment manager and the folks at Truly Nolen seem somewhat nonplussed by my plight. The exterminator comes in, does some spraying, tells me things could be worse, and leaves. Someone in the front office told me the "routine," which includes fogging the entire building, in the event the Truly Nolen guy fails to finish off the buggers on the second spraying, which involved me removing every item from every cabinet and drawer in my kitchen. Sigh.

The routine was not followed. The exterminator keeps telling me "it's getting better."

Here's the thing. I don't consider seeing five to ten roaches a day "better." I consider that an Elvis song.

A couple weeks ago, when it was very cold here, a small dark lizard huddled outside my front door and darted in when the door opened. Smart lizard. So I offered him warmth and water. He eats roaches. It's a good relationship. He mostly hangs out in the den.

Today, while at the Rennaissance Festival up in Ft. Myers, I stopped at a tent where a guy was selling orphaned baby dragons. These are tame anoles from Louisiana. Stunning how calm these little lizards are. So, for an overpriced but well-spent $15, I now have a second baby dragon living in my kitchen. I'm so proud of him, too. I let him out of the container and within three minutes, he was munching down on a roach that he caught himself. THAT's extermination. He should be fat by tomorrow.

I'm sick and tired of these stupid bugs. I refuse to live like this. I've been looking for a new place. I may need the Health Department to help me get out of the current lease, but, hey, that should NOT be difficult. You just walk in here and something with too many legs runs at you.

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Blogger Robert Collins said...

A stand-up comic did a routine like this. I think it was that he had a mouse problem, so someone suggested he get a cat to deal with the mice. His reply was, "I don't want 'WIld Kingdom' in my house," or words to that effect. Sounds like it's either time to move, or to call Animal Planet to pitch a new series. :)

9:14 PM  
Blogger Sandy Lender said...

I am ready to move. I think I'll set off a bug bomb in the moving van once all my belongings are loaded up...
From Sandy Lender
"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."

8:03 AM  

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