Economic Stimulus Payments Will Take Time to Reach Writers
Or…starving writers should file 2007 taxes and continue to starve until late spring, early summer

Even though I'll be receiving my economic stimulus payment/reimbursement in, oh, late June, I'm still very thankful to be getting anything at all. If the Internal Revenue Service times it right, I'll already have my divorce finalized and won't have to give half my check to an idiot who feels entitled to half my future earnings because he's too stupid to get a job. Hmm. Or maybe the problem is that I was the stupid one for maintaining employment while he sat on his growing can for years.

But I digress.

The point of this post was to let all ya'll know that if you're waiting for your economic stimulus payment to arrive to help you purchase writing supplies, printer ink, food, etc., it might be a long wait. First, you must file your taxes as you normally would. If you normally wouldn't (for instance, if you're a lower-income worker, which many starving writers are, or you receive Social Security or veterans' benefits), you will need to file this year to stimulate the stimulus… You get the idea. Dude, to get the $300 to $600 back, just file and be thankful it's an easy form.

Here's the timetable for receiving your rebate, based on the last two digits of your Social Security number, if you're set up to receive your normal tax refunds through direct deposit. (Personally, I feel very uncomfortable giving that control to the IRS, even when I have this sneaking suspicion that they can just take it when they want it. ***I glance nervously over my shoulder at the camera above the bookshelf.***)

Last 2 Digits...Direct Deposit by
00-20...May 2
21-75...May 9
76-99...May 16

If you're receiving your refunds the old-fashioned way, you could be waiting until after the middle of the year. But, hey, with the housing market the way it is, the government workers know no one is moving, so mailing things to us will be easy.
Last 2 digits...Check's in the mail by
00-09...May 16
10-18...May 23
19-25...May 30
26-38...June 6
39-51...June 13
52-63...June 20 (happy birthday, John Taylor!)
64-75...June 27
76-87...July 4 (ummm…I see a flaw in this plan)
88-99...July 11

For slightly more information (but a less entertaining/sarcastic tone), visit http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=180247,00.html.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to roast the IRS."
Tags: economic stimulus payments, timetable, starving artists, Social Security, benefits, tax rebate, tax refund, file your taxes, IRS, direct deposit, housing market