Today the Dragon Wins

"Today the Dragon Wins" offers information from Fantasy Author and Professional Editor Sandy Lender. You'll also find dragons, wizards, sorcerers, and other fantasy elements necessary for a fabulous story, if you know where to look...

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Location: Misbehaving in Candlelight

Sandy Lender is the editor of an international trade publication and the author of the fantasy novels Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings, available from ArcheBooks Publishing, and the series-supporting chapbook, What Choices We Made.

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Thursday, December 31, 2009

An Author’s Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions That Can’t Be Revealed Publicly
Or…The Dragon offers you an author’s Naughty New Year’s Top 10

Now, I will admit that this is a little bitter and fussy-sounding. It’s meant to be funny and cynical, not mean, so please don’t take it as a huge moanfest. It’s not… I've posted a nice and happy Top Ten List below, but I bet fellow authors won’t find it as funny as this one.

10. Send anonymous letters of rejection and chastisement to unscrupulous literary agents in various parts of the world. (Oh, yes, one of my author friends knows this was thought of for him.)

9. Write crappy poetry and send it to unscrupulous poetry contests without including their exorbitant entry fees, then cause them to spend lots of postage trying to get the fee.

8. Send spam to princes and princesses who don’t have bank accounts in Nigeria.

7. Send requests for proof of pharmaceutical license and/or ability to detect gender to companies trying to sell male enhancement drugs to females.

6. Put that funky exploding ink on bookmarks so people who pick them up from “the freebie pile” at author tables without even stopping to GLANCE at the books (or the author) will get about 10 paces outside of the book store/trade show and get a big inky surprise.

5. Write a new, crappy, bizarre, insane novella for a Publish America scandal so the old one can be put to rest. Because…wow…look at the publicity…

4. Find a calming meditation to chant when an author says it shouldn’t be his or her job to market or promote his or her book.

3. Find a calming meditation to chant when anyone says agents aren’t partners in promoting a project—also known as a book they plan to get paid a commission and royalty on.

2. Update the “I can’t go out because…” excuses for writing binges so friends and family don’t notice trends.

1. Send evil flying monkeys to the homes of people who said they’d review ARCs or hardcover books that cost the author money to produce/order and ship, and who then dropped off the face of the planet. (If there are that many evil flying monkeys left in the world…)

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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An Author’s Top Ten For Real New Year’s Resolutions
Or…The Dragon offers you an author’s New Year’s Top 10

Now, this is a little better and brighter! Probably not as funny, but I bet authors can still relate.

10. Send out-of-the-blue good reviews to other authors and post them on Amazon when possible.

9. Write nice poetry for my mom but refrain from forcing it on the rest of the world. (I’m not what you’d call ‘a poet’.)

8. Finish editing WIPs and send ’em to the publishers.

7. Find extra publishers for extra projects.

6. Find extra places to speak and market books.

5. Do that funky 3-Day Novel Contest again.

4. Get Nigel Taiman on The Ellen Show. Mwuahahahahaha.
4a. Get myself on Craig Ferguson. Pardon me. I mean, get myself on the Craig Ferguson show.

3. Find an agent for the upcoming series and whatnot to help me with everything. It’s so overwhelming.

2. Update the “I can’t go out because…” excuses for writing binges so friends and family don’t notice trends.

1. Push all the limits. All. The. Limits.

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Balls are Sagging
Or…The Dragon might have to mulch the Christmas tree now

I waited until late in the season to get this year’s Christmas tree. I needed something short and skinny to fit in my pint-sized apartment and to keep my companion parrots from freaking out. While Petri, a 10-year-old Sun Conure, has been through this drill before, the newer flock members might have issues with a hunk of fresh-smelling nature suddenly standing half-dead in the livingroom.

When I entered the tree tent at the corner of Santa Barbara (seemed appropriate) and Golden Gate, there stood the perfect Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It was about three feet tall, skinny, more brown than green, and more patchy than full. I stared at it with pity. The song Percy the Puny Poinsettia began in my head.

“Percy the puny poinsettia
Hanging his blooms in dismay
If they had just kept him wettah
He’d be a houseplant today”

I stared at that poor little tree for a while, thinking of what a sad Christmas the $25 tree was going to have on a mulch pile if I didn’t take it home. The salesman told me I needed to get it into water pretty fast. I touched a branch. Many needles fell off between my fingers. “We’ll give you a good deal on it.”

To my great shame, I turned away from the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It was too much to bear. I found instead a 7-foot Frasier fir that was robust and unfit for my apartment. I stared at it until the salesman said, “we could chop it off at the top for you.” Now there was an idea. Butcher the poor tree further. With a sigh I went for the plan (and 50 percent off the price). I took home the cutest Christmas tree known to man. None of my pet birds were disturbed by it. They watched me decorate it as if watching an insane person eat jello with her hands…waiting for me to drool or drop the pretty baubles.

Now the baubles pull at the branches with their glassy weight and the tree mourns its once regal stature in a forest (or a tree farm). It will become mulch for someone’s garden and a part of me will feel guilty for contributing to its need to be dead. But I’m grateful for its sacrifice to bring such a gorgeous Christmasy glow to my livingroom!

“Some days, you just want the dragon to win.”
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Stupid Thing I Stopped Myself From Saying
Or...Yes, The Dragon was cautious and DID NOT tell the grocery cashier that she has the name of a lesbian prostitute

Ah, the holidays. Hustle and bustle and opportunities to stop in at stores you don't normally go into...

I hit a different grocery store and went through a check-out lane where a cashier named Adelaide was working. Now, to anyone else, this would be no big deal, I'm sure. But I don't believe I've ever met anyone named Adelaide...other than the lovely woman in my Choices trilogy who helps Amanda Chariss. For a split second, I almost said, "Hey! I have a character in my fantasy novels named Adelaide!" Some folks get pretty stoked when you tell them a character shares their name. Then, thank God, a switch in my brain flipped to "wait." I don't know that the elderly lady wearing her carefully applied layers of Mary Kay would have appreciated my follow-up of, "Adelaide is the lesbian prostitute who gives information to the heroine..."

So I just kept my mouth shut...for a change!

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Stupid Things I Say
Or...The Dragon celebrates POST #1,000 with an homage to spur-of-the-moment-holiday-madness

The UPS and FedEx delivery people usually bypass my apartment and take all packages straight to the apartment manager's office. Why? I'm not sure. It could be that the private entrance on the side of the building is too difficult to find. I mean...there's only a staircase and a door under an awning to announce its presence to the world. It could be "rush." From my work-at-home office spot, I can see the stop sign at the corner on which my apartment sits. The UPS and FedEx trucks usually coast through it on their way past my building. (They're big and easy to notice.) So on days after I'm supposed to have received a package, I check the online tracking features for whatever service was delivering it; see that it was delivered to someone; and call the management office to see if it's there.

Here's where the stupid-Sandy-comment comes in.

I was home (because I usually am--I work here) yesterday evening around 5:30 when the UPS truck freaking STOPPED and the dude delivered a box of my latest book to my door. I was so pleased. The guy said, "I can't believe someone's at their home. All day long, no one's at home, it's after 5 and no one's home. No one's ever home." I felt sorry for him. For some strange reason, my brain kicked out, "I work from home, so you'll always get lucky here."

What the devil? Did I proposition the UPS man?

As soon as I heard it, I wished I could rewind and NOT say anything. But, there ya go. I wished him a merry Christmas and signed off on the box of books hoping he'd have a new job by the end of Christmas season. Eegads.

"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Monday, December 21, 2009

Fantasy Author Sandy Lender Joins Authors Reading Shorts For Soup Kitchen
Or...The Dragon invites you to get generous with your listening skills

Date: Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2009
Times: 2 to 4 p.m., 5:30 to 7.30 p.m., 9 to 11 p.m. (all ET)

The authors involved include (alphabetically by first name):
Brenna Lyons, Cindy Spencer Pape, Cornelia Amiri, Jade Lee, Lillian Cauldwell, Linda LaRoque, Linda Nightingale, Loretta Wheeler, Mickey Flagg, Fantasy Author Sandy Lender, Victoria Houseman

To Listen Live
In the Black Box, click on "Listen Live"
Sign in (there's a box for that)
Listen and Enjoy

To enter chat room
Look on the lower right under "In The Spot Light"
Live Chat Room... click on that.

To set up an RSS feed (to listen on mobile)
RSS feeds. Click on middle box RSS/PODCAST. Put "Soup" into description. Pay $3.50. Your donation will be acknowledged.
To donate to the Capuchin Soup Kitchen with or without listening either:
Memo "Soup"

Click on Click_And_Pledge or Donate Online
to donate using a credit card (https ... secure site)

More details:
Cindy Spencer Pape
Story title: Christmas at Mort's
available for free on Cindy's website, as a holiday gift to her readers.
Book I'm promoting: Mistletoe Magic: available in print from Ellora's Cave

Victoria Houseman
My story is: Rachel’s Light in Holiday in the Heart published by The Highland Press.
I write under Victoria Houseman. My website is:

Loretta Wheeler

Brenna Lyons
"I found the world Ms. Lyons created to be realistic. Both main characters had humanistic characteristics but also the genetic makeup of their Xxanian ancestors as well. I blushed more than once, that’s for sure. CLOSE ENOUGH TO HUMAN was an exceptional read." Reviewed by Natasha Smith for Romance Junkies 4.5 Ribbons

Linda Nightingale
http://www.lindanightingale.comhttp//www.pinkfuzzyslipperwriters.blogspot.coma Black Rosette, Black Swan Available from The Wild Rose Press Best of Week at The Long & Short of It Reviews

Linda LaRoque
~Writing Western Romance with a Twist in Time~
Reading: Goat Heads and Yellow Roses - Childhood Memories of Visiting Grandma in the 1950s. Unpublished.
Promoting: Time Travel Romances - My Heart Will Find Yours and Flames On The Sky available at, Barnes & Noble. com and The Wild Rose Press.

Mickey Flagg
Retribution! The Champion Chronicles:Book One
Available at
"I am very anxious for the sequel" 5 star reader review
Coming soon: Consequences: The Champion Chronicles Book Two

Fantasy Author Sandy Lender
From 9:30 p.m. (Eastern time) to about 10:15 or so, Sandy will be reading her paranormal short story "A Legacy Protected," which was recently published in the Winter's Night Magazine, edited and published by Richard Bray.
Sandy is the author of the 2007 fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods
ArcheBooks Publishing has released the intense sequel Choices Meant for Kings at Also in Kindle format at
Visit Sandy's Web site to read excerpts and testimonials about her work.
"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."

Cornelia Amiri
Long Swords, Hot Heroes & Warrior Women

Lillian Cauldwell.
The Anna Mae Mysteries -- The Golden Treasure

Jade Lee
Dragonbound April 09

Your host:
Rowena Cherry
Heroines get more hero than they bargain for....

We thank you for listening and for your generosity. Have a Merry Christmas!
"Some days, you just want the dragon to win."
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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Riddle Me This
Or...The Dragon gives you a fun little puzzle

Click on the image to go to the puzzle that features my first fantasy novel, Choices Meant for Gods. Have fun beating each other's scores! And thank you to my fabulous friend Jamieson Wolf who showed this to me. He'll be at Nigel's blog this Saturday discussing marketing and books and all sorts of good publishing items.

Click to Mix and Solve