Today the Dragon Wins

"Today the Dragon Wins" offers information from Fantasy Author and Professional Editor Sandy Lender. You'll also find dragons, wizards, sorcerers, and other fantasy elements necessary for a fabulous story, if you know where to look...

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Location: Misbehaving in Candlelight

Sandy Lender is the editor of an international trade publication and the author of the fantasy novels Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings, available from ArcheBooks Publishing, and the series-supporting chapbook, What Choices We Made.

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Monday, March 31, 2008

A Day For Charlotte Bronte Fans
Or...The Dragon is foregoing all the typical posts to just bask in the glory of Charlotte

On March 31, 1855, the great Charlotte Bronte passed away from what doctors reported as either phthisis or Hyperemesis gravidarum. The former, a Greek term for tuberculosis, is what's listed on her death certificate, and is what many in the village of Haworth died from in that time period; the latter, extreme sickness during pregnancy, is also highly likely.

She was 38 years old.

She was working on a novel entitled Emma.

She was a literary genius and an inspired, motived young woman who had overcome adversity and tragedy starting at age 5 when her mother died, continuing at age 9 when two of her sisters died from abuse and neglect at boarding school. Her troubled older brother ended up disappointing the family with a "difficult" life (or drinking himself to death) rather than contributing to their financial well-being. (I don't mean to sound harsh, but it would have been great if Branwell could have stepped up to the plate instead of pining over a married woman who rejected him.) When Charlotte's unrequited love stabbed her in the heart, she got to work. She made plans.

Charlotte attempted, with her sisters, to assemble a boarding school there in Haworth so she and her sisters wouldn't have to sell themselves out as governesses, a task none of the remaining three looked forward to. When the school could attract no students (I might be averse to sending my daughter into a tuberculosis-infested village myself), the girls had no choice but to seek employment abroad. When circumstances brought them home again for Branwell's trying death scene, Emily and Anne took ill and Charlotte ultimately found herself mired in tragedy again.

Yet that woman rode through like a champion.

She poured her sorrow into her letters and poetry, but the fact that she carried on is heroic in light of all she endured. For people who have never read her story, I recommend picking up The Brontes: Charlotte Bronte and Her Family, by Rebecca Fraser, published in 1988 by Ballantine. The story is presented with plenty of historical fact, but it's told in a novel-like fashion. If you're up for a bit more historical information presented mostly in the characters' voices through excerpts of letters with narration to explain events, Juliet Barker's The Brontes: A Life in Letters, published in 2002 by The Overlook Press, gives a clear picture of their lives and trials. The original, of course, which Charlotte's father requested, is Elizabeth Gaskell's The Life of Charlotte Bronte, and it is written in novel fashion. You can pick up a reprint anywhere.

The reasons I consider Charlotte a literary genius include the works she left us, but also include her inspired moment when she discovered her sister Emily's poetry one evening and recognized the power and potential there. Charlotte didn't just wrap up those poems and represent Emily as a poet in London. No, she put together a book (which I'd commit a capital offense to get my hands on now) of poems from all three sisters and marketed the thing. It became a first offering from the Brontes (writing under the oh-so-wise male pseudonym of Bell). Next, they had three novels to market.

Are you ready for this? Just like writers of today, Charlotte had to apply to publishers to get the manuscript reviewed and printed. She took it upon herself to send the parcel out, and send it she did. Once. Twice. Three times. Four... In Barker's Life in Letters, page 72, Charlotte's letter to her friend Ellen Nussey, dated Jan. 24, 1840, talks of working on a relationship with a difficult person. Charlotte writes, "and my motto is 'Try again.'"

She stuck to that motto with her writing career. Fraser states in her book listed above, page 246, "To her polite enquiries, publishers...returned no answer. But Charlotte was made of sterner stuff; she would be responded to." She wrote to the firm that published the encyclopaedia to get advice from someone there. Although her first novel, The Professor, was rejected time and again, ultimately not published until after her death, her second novel, Jane Eyre, became a timeless classic. It's a gothic fiction novel that woke an industry. The reviewers went wild with their opinions, either loving or hating it based on its dark, brooding hero and its tormented, masculine themes that people of the day claimed were inappropriate for Christians and women to consider. (Imagine.) Charlotte had to set about defending her Mr. Rochester. Yet she weathered that storm, too.

She defended her sisters, who were vilified by the reviewers who found fault with their masculine tones and "unChristian" themes of violence and debauchery in their novels. Now, if you've read Wuthering Heights (by Emily), Agnes Grey or The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (by Anne), you'll know that the bad characters are truly bad; Anne knows how to make you loathe an evil man. But even I get miffed when I read some of these old-time reviews. I have to wonder how obnoxious these old sots were, sitting around with their smoking pipes, writing up their pompous opinions while staring down their noses at the pages...and then returning to their bath houses with their fair-skinned playtoys before returning home to their wives. You can't tell me these men were any less corrupt than a New York Times-like reporter who hides behind the First Amendment today.

By the end of her days, Charlotte bested the reviewers. She outlived her siblings, which, on one hand, is a sad statement. On the other hand, and I'll admit the selfishness of this, I'm thankful the reading public was allowed the years we were gifted. I'm also thankful for the example she set. If someone as monumental as Charlotte Bronte had to face rejection, who are we to complain when query letters come back with form rejection letters inside? Consider the publishers of the mid 1840s who said "no" to Curer Bell. Ah, how they were kicking themselves in 1849, 50, 51, etc.

Have you received a spate of rejection letters during your writing career so far? Now, don't you let that get you down. Just consider how those folks will be kicking themselves when your "Jane Eyre" hits the shelves and the reviewers are giving it such publicity that every household is uttering your name in disbelief. Maybe it won't be your first novel that hits the bigtime, but with role models like Charlotte to guide us, we can see that the first one may be the one to set aside and let cool. Even though The Professor is a fantastic novel, and the autobiographical tidbits within it wrench your heart out (if you know Charlotte's unrequited love story), the masterpiece to launch Charlotte into the literary stratosphere was Jane Eyre.

What's your masterpiece? I can be honest and tell you I don't believe Choices Meant for Gods is my masterpiece. Yes, I have a bunch of five-star reviews on Amazon for the book. Yes, I'm proud of the story. Yes, the characters sing. But, let me tell you something: The sequel kicks its butt.

Let Charlotte inspire your masterpiece out of you...She is a constant, phenomenal source of inspiration for me.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Saturday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers

"You may write me down in history
"With your bitter, twisted lies,
"You may trod me in the very dirt
"But still, like dust, I'll rise."
— Maya Angelou (from And Still I Rise, 1978)

Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you an empowered day!
Keep reading...because one of these days...Nigel and Chariss are going to be famous. I'm going to rise from the dust of a bad judgment call I made 14 years ago and I'm going to take on the world with gusto and aplomb and vigor and I will prevail like nothing you've ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, one of these days, the dragon is going to freakin' win! (See Nigel's blog for the fabulous ending... http://sandylender.blogspot.com/ )
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Joke of the Day!
Or...you have to know the background to know why this is sooooo entertaining to The Dragon

What's the difference between a Poly Sci major and a large pizza?

Ready?
The large pizza can feed a family of four.

I love it.
I think it would work if you replaced "Poly Sci major" with "degree in anything from Ave Maria University", too.

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Saturday, March 29, 2008
Word of the Day
I'm lobbin' a softball at you guys today! Jeni...you should be very pleased!
Man (noun) -- an adult male; "A male human being endowed with such qualities as courage, strength, and fortitude, considered characteristic of manhood," according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, New College Edition; "One possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood," according to Merriam-Webster (I decided to get all official for this one today)

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, the dashing and dark Nigel Taiman is a man like no other Chariss has ever met, efficiently and effectively caring for his brothers, sister, mother, estate, school and land despite the abusive Godric Taiman degrading him at every turn.

Your turn! We're using a very simple word to day because I've been reminded, yet again, that I was married to a toddling child for 14 years (who seems to be going for 15 for some stupid reason I can't figure out...oh...wait...it's apathy and the inability to complete tasks in his life! That's it!) and not a man. So what sentences can you come up with to use today's EASY BREEZY word? ;) Bitterness is allowed. ***maniacal giggling here***

"Some days, I just want the dragon to go to The Catholic University of America and burn down the classroom my soon-to-be-ex is sleeping in."
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Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."
— L.J. Cardinal Suenens


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a fantastic, imaginative, creative day!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including another journaling question, today's Grammar Guide and the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Writers' Guide: Inspiring Question for the Last Friday in March
Or…The Dragon says journal about this one…

We have a Grammar Guide AND a Writer's Guide today. I like to try to throw one of these thought-provoking questions at you on Fridays, and I won't be able to next Friday because we're having an author interview here at The Dragon. So this week's is bizarre to make up for skipping next week. How's that? Put your answer in the comment field, but feel free to use this thought-provoking question in your journaling or short story exercises today!

Where on your body do you have a scar and how did you get it?

I have this whole patch of scars on the inside of my upper right arm. They've faded quite a bit now that I'm nearly 38 years old, but I got them when I was a toddler. My poor mom. I reached up with my wee little hand to the stovetop to grab the handle of a boiling pot of water…

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Grammar Guide
Punctuate for Clarity, Part V, Quotations in Formal Text

(Ed. note: I do not use serial commas in this article, pursuant to AP style.)

If you’re writing a term paper, letter to the editor, business letter or cover letter, etc., and you want to include a quotation, there are specific rules to follow. If the quotation is brief, you must watch your ending punctuation, and we’ll address that, but you can separate your phrases with a comma. For example, your term paper might read as follows:

Charlotte Bronte gave her heroine, Jane Eyre, a fiery spirit. When Mr. Rochester would detain the troubled governess, she said, “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

The attributive phrase that precedes the quotation is set off by a comma. The quotation from Jane Eyre ends with a period in the novel, thus it takes the period at the end of the sentence before the quotation mark in the text here. If we elected to chop up the quote, ending it at at the word being, the punctuation would move. For example:

When Mr. Rochester would detain the troubled governess, she said, “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being...”.

The punctuation must denote the end of the correct sentence, and that is the outer construction—the construction without the quotation marks.

Let’s say you wanted to really impress your English professor and were quoting something from both Bronte and the Lender novel Choices Meant for Gods. Your next quote turns out to be long. You have to pay attention to your introductory punctuation and make a judgment call on whether or not to indent the quote, essentially setting it off from the body of your paper.

First of all, a quote is usually considered lengthy if it is more than three or four lines of poetry or if it is more than one paragraph of text. In these instances, you end your attributive phrase with a colon, allow a single line of space between the attributive phrase and the quote, and then set the quote off by insetting it (setting it off) in the body of your paper with left justification. MLA, Chicago Manual of Style and various English professors will dictate how far in the inset should be. If the quote isn’t all that long, but you still feel it’s long enough to warrant more than a simple comma to set it off, use a colon, but don’t go to the extreme of setting it off in the body of your paper. Here’s your example:

To demonstrate a flashback scene, I quote from Lender’s “Choices Meant for Gods”: “Hrazon had swallowed his pride and requested Drake be imprisoned, not exalted. He challenged the court to stand up for morality. The implication that they might ignore morality had offended them. By the time the court adjourned, Godric was forgotten again, and Drake was handed the leadership of Kida and an order never to come within a league of Amanda Chariss Derdriu. The latter was merely a nod or a ‘thank you for trusting the hierarchy’ tossed at Hrazon. The wizard could have turned every one of them into charred piles of bone with the blink of an eye, and Godric would have applauded him.”

Notice that you will use quotation marks to surround the quotation in this instance. For an extremely long quotation that you inset, no quotation marks are needed. The use of indenting the body of the quote in your paper signals to the reader that the section is a quotation.

For Standard English grammar resources, I recommend Creative Writer's Handbook (fourth edition) by Philip K. Jason (a friend of mine) and Allan B. Lefcowitz (available from www.prenhall.com/english) and Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss (available from www.penguin.com). For a great gothic fiction novel that every person on the planet should read, I recommend Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. For a great epic fantasy novel that borrows elements I didn't realize I was borrowing from the great Charlotte Bronte until I had the thing complete, I recommend Choices Meant for Gods by Sandy Lender (which is available in both hard cover and as an inexpensive eBook at http://www.archebooks.com/BookIDX/Indexes/Fantasy/CMG/CMGDesc.htm.)

(Sandy Lender has been an editor in the magazine publishing industry for sixteen years, is an editor in the book publishing industry and is the author of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, available from www.archebooks.com.)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Friday, March 28, 2008
Word of the Day
Precarious
(adjective) — remarkably unstable; dangerously insecure; lacking in stability to a dangerous degree; subject to what is still unknown and easily changed (from Latin meaning "dependent on prayer")

Word in a Sentence: When the fledgling dragon appears on Chariss's balcony in the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, the creature finds itself in the precarious position of being caught in the arms of a human warrior.

Your turn! What instability can you display with your creativity today? Give us a fabulous sentence with "precarious" in it to dazzle us all…

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Thursday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it."
— Helen Keller


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a powerful day for overcoming anything and everything!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including a journaling idea, today's installment in our series of punctuation-related Grammar Guides and the interactive Word of the Day.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Journaling Topics for Your Writing Enjoyment
Or…The Dragon gets distracted easily by wildlife

Working from home has many advantages. And there's one bizarre disadvantage for me. My den, which faces this well-planted common ground among the condos where I rent, has four very tall glass windows that are about a foot off the ground. I can see all the wildlife that scampers by outside. Some of that wildlife is aware that by sitting outside the door (which contains one of these four tall windows) and peeking in longingly, one can obtain food from the guilt-ridden human inside.

Yesterday, while I was attempting to work, the following wildlife tried to seduce me with their whiles. A raccoon. A duck. A dove. A squirrel. What surprised me is that the squirrel came alone. She usually has a friend…

Do you have woodland creatures that you can blog about today? They're great for making up little stories for your journaling exercises, you know. I've got a lizard that lives on the front lanai who's probably going to end up in a short story one of these days.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Grammar Guide
Punctuate for Clarity, Part IV, Quotations and Attributive Phrases in Dialogue

(Ed. note: I do not use serial commas in this article, pursuant to AP style.)

Before delving into today’s Grammar Guide, I want to define an attribute phrase as the part of the sentence that shows to whom or to what you’re attributing a quote. If I want to write a short story about a couple characters from my fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, I would likely attribute some obnoxious statement to Henry Bakerson. Here’s the example.

Nigel had been waiting for Amanda Chariss to return from the training arena for nearly an hour.
“Why do you look edgy?” Henry asked.
“I’m waiting for Mandy,” Nigel replied.
“Ah,” he said. “So, then, why is there still grass where you’ve been pacing?”

(A) I don’t write such stilted dialogue. This is for example purposes.
(B) The attributive phrases in the example above are “Henry asked”, “Nigel replied”, and “he said”.

Punctuation belongs at the end of a completed sentence. This means you must keep track of your quotation marks, commas and attributive phrases to make sure you don’t have stray capitalization and periods in the middle of declarative statements.

Example: “We hope Chariss saves the world,” he said.

This declarative statement includes the quote, within quotation marks, a comma to set it off from its attributive phrase, the attributive phrase with a lowercase beginning, and a period to end it all. When using dialogue, the declarative, interrogative (question) and exclamatory statements all take punctuation within the quotation marks if the quotation is ending the sentence. For instance, Henry asks Nigel, “So, then, why is there still grass where you’ve been pacing?”, and the interrogative statement ends the construction, thus it takes the question mark inside the quotation mark.

If your character’s statement is a question, and you’re following it with the attributive phrase, you don’t use the comma to set it off. You go ahead and use a question mark (or an exclamation point if you’re giving them an exclamatory statement) inside the quotation mark, and then follow it with the attributive phrase and a period to end the sentence. If you use a pronoun instead of the character’s name, lowercase the pronoun because you’re still in the middle of the sentence.

Example: “Chariss is the only one who can save us!” he yelled.

Keep in mind that if your character will be waxing poetic for an undue length of time, the opening sentence of each paragraph gets an opening quotation mark, but the closing quotation mark doesn’t come until the end, or until you interrupt with an attributive phrase. For instance, Abigail Farrier, also from Choices Meant for Gods, would go on and on forever something like this:

“When I awoke today, I thought instantly of Nigel Taiman and his lovely brown eyes,” Abigail said. “He is the handsomest man in the whole world, and I can’t imagine I’ll survive another day without him.
“Given the state of things here in Bellan, I really must make a plan to get back to Arcana City. This isn’t just to see Nigel again, but to make a change in my life.
“Father would be so disappointed to see me go, and would, no doubt, try to stop me. But I am a grown woman now and able to make decisions on my own. It’s high time I returned to the land where I grew up.”

Also keep in mind that some of your characters’ statements can be made as part of the larger sentence without the interruption of setting off the attributive phrase. You don’t always have to signpost the fact that such-n-such character is about to state something by setting a phrase off with a comma if the phrase and the character’s comment flow together as a continuous whole.

Example: Chariss gave them a quizzical look as she approached. “You two look like you’re up to no good.”
Nigel explained that “Henry’s never let a chance for harm pass him by.”

In this case, Nigel’s statement exists as part of the overall sentence so fluidly that there’s no need to set it apart. It is attributed to him without interrupting the flow with a comma.

This guide only covers the use of punctuation with quotes when working with dialogue. We’ll address punctuation when quoting material for other forms of writing, such as term papers, in tomorrow's Grammar Guide. For now, feel free to review this guide to be sure you put your punctuation within the quotation marks where it should be and don’t capitalize stray words in your attributive phrases within your sentence.

For Standard English grammar resources, I recommend Creative Writer's Handbook (fourth edition) by Philip K. Jason (a friend of mine) and Allan B. Lefcowitz (available from www.prenhall.com/english) and Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss (available from www.penguin.com).

(Sandy Lender has been an editor in the magazine publishing industry for sixteen years, is an editor in the book publishing industry and is the author of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, available from
www.archebooks.com.)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Thursday, March 27, 2008
Word of the Day
Assuage (transitive verb) — to make something less severe; to ease; to appease; to pacify; to calm; to relieve something (from Vulgar Latin meaning "to sweeten")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy trilogy Choices Meant for Gods, Chariss finds herself playing the role of peacekeeper by assuaging Master Rothahn and Nigel's flared tempers on more than one occasion.

Your turn! Try your hand at assuaging vocabulary stress! :) What creative sentence can you create with today's Word of the Day?

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wednesday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"He that rides his hobby gently must always give way to him that rides his hobby hard."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a successful day that you can be proud of!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including a tip for selling your manuscript, today's Grammar Guide and the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win!!!!!"
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Postage Increase Will Affect Query Letters You've Sent Out
Or...The Dragon wants to give writers a heads-up about May 12 and some networking options to sell your manuscript without postage

The May 12 postage change will affect the query letters you wish to mail. If you're seeking an agent to represent you and your manuscript, go ahead and purchase the 42-cent stamps now that will be necessary for mailing the SASE back to you after May 12. The chances of an agent responding to you before that date are slim to none at this point.

Personally, I recommend saving your money on postage and spending copious amounts more on attending writer's conferences where agents and publishers will be in attendance. Why? Two reasons.

First reason to go to conferences instead of trying to get an agent with a query letter:
Agents are the gatekeepers of the publishing industry. One of their jobs is to find extraordinary talent and bring that talent before the publishers of the world for spotlighting and exploiting.

Another of their jobs is to keep a majority of the wannabes out of the industry to make life easier for those already being exploited. So when the slush pile is out of control in an agent's office (and it always is), that agent is not going to accept any more manuscripts. That means an intern opens your query letter, extracts your SASE, inserts a form rejection letter into your SASE and places your SASE--with form rejection letter inside--in the "out" basket for Friday's mail drop. (I'm surprised agencies haven't started requesting a $5 check in all query letters to cover handling and photocopying-of-the-form-rejection-letter fees.) Anyway, my point here is that no one will notice the 41-cent stamp until the post office catches the SASE en route to you and sends it back to the agency where an intern will pitch it into a recycle container. And you'll never know...

Second reason to go to a conference instead of trying to get an agent with a query letter:
Attending the writer's conference gives you an opportunity to learn, grow and network. I met my publisher at the Naples Press Club annual writer's conference and had a pitch session that lasted a little more than 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes, I essentially "sold" the Choices Meant for Gods trilogy. That rocks the house, Baby. Bob told me later that it shows what kind of commitment I was willing to make to risk face-to-face rejection. (Ack.)

My friend M.B. Weston had her pitch session right after me and sold her A Prophecy Forgotten trilogy as well. My friend Gale Sparks made the trek to a writer's conference up in New York, met an agent there and now has that agent helping him edit and sell Haint Lights. It's a dream come true, and I'll be shouting about it from the rooftops when they get that thing set to go. My friend Tina Murray went to the ArcheBooks Publishing writer's workshop in Ft. Lauderdale and sold her manuscript for the romance novel A Chance to Say Yes, which is being released, sans agent, next month.

There are more examples, but I think you get the point. An immediate opportunity for attending a writer's conference is right around the corner here in Southwest Florida. The Naples Press Club annual writer's conference is this April 5 and 6. It's taking place at the von Liebig Art Center in conjunction with the annual Author and Books Festival, where I'll have a table where you can get your copy of Choices Meant for Gods autographed and where you can enter a contest to win a replica of Jorin Taiman's sword and/or a basket of CMFG goodies, including a bottle of Bellan wine (it's not really from Bellan, but it's fun to pretend). I'll also have a flyer about Book II in the Choices trilogy with a scene from that novel...and it's a freakin' good scene at that...

To get information about the conference and festival, visit http://www.authorsandbooksfestival.org/front.htm. Oh, and, ummm, my publisher is one member of the publishing industry who will be there as a speaker.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Grammar Guide
Punctuate for Clarity, Part III, Commas

(Ed. note: I do not use serial commas in this article, pursuant to AP style.)

In the last Grammar Guide, we discussed the use of the serial comma, which is the last comma before the conjunction in a series (or list) of items. For Standard English grammar, which most of us use, the serial comma is used. But there are other times when the comma can be a dodgy item. You stare at it, dangling there like a misplaced participle, and you wonder, should I delete that?

Here’s the thing to remember about commas. They are used to add clarity. They set off phrases from the rest of the sentence to reduce clutter and make things clearer for the reader. For example, the following piece of paragraph is taken from a deleted scene from Choices Meant for Gods. Nigel and Chariss are visiting in the stables the morning after his brush with death, and the gentleman has contrived a way to run his fingers through her hair.

Example: He stroked his fingers down her tresses, all the way through to the ends where the curves and waves ended in little rolls that mimicked the wavecaps rushing to Arcana’s shore. By the gods, he wanted to feel those ends tickling along his chest, like they had last night, when she’d leaned over him to heal the wound that should have killed him. He moved one hand back to the top of her head, fully aware that she’d just shivered at this unfamiliar touch. Oh, that’s got to be a good sign, he thought.

I want to call your attention to the first comma in the example. The comma separates the complete phrase “He stroked his fingers down her tresses” and the incomplete phrase “all the way, etc.”

Look also at the third sentence. The comma in that sentence separates the complete phrase “He moved one hand back to the top of her head” and “fully aware, etc.” In both of these sentences, the comma comes after a complete phrase. The phrases could be ended with periods. The commas replace the periods I could have used and signify that more is to come. The "more" the reader gets is an additional phrase that modifies what he has already read. In the first instance, “all the way through, etc.” tells how Nigel stroked his fingers down her tresses. In the second instance, “fully aware that she’d just shivered” describes “He.”

In the final sentence, the comma before “he thought” is used to set off attribution, which will be discussed in the Grammar Guides about punctuating quotation in dialogue in the coming days.

Another use of the comma is another form of separating phrases, but it has to do with changing subjects. For instance, when you have two complete sentences, but you want to combine them, you can do something like this:

Example: Chariss put her arm out to catch him. He experienced that momentary shock of lightning when he got to touch her.

It can be changed to read more fluidly as, example: Chariss put her arm out to catch him, and he experienced that momentary shock of lightning when he got to touch her.

The comma signifies that the subject is going to change in the second half of this sentence. I’ve seen people make mistakes with this construction, though. Be sure that you’re actually combining two sentences (two subjects and two verbs) or the use of the comma before the conjunction is incorrect.

Example: Chariss put her arm out to catch him and felt a momentary shock of lightning at the touch.

In this example, Chariss is the one catching, touching and feeling the momentary shock of lightning. The subject doesn’t change, even though there is more than one verb. In the first example, Chariss did the catching, but the subject changed to Nigel in the second half of the sentence. Nigel did the touching and feeling of the momentary shock of lightning. (And isn’t that sweet?)

For Standard English grammar resources, I recommend Creative Writer's Handbook (fourth edition) by Philip K. Jason (a friend of mine) and Allan B. Lefcowitz (available from www.prenhall.com/english) and Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss (available from www.penguin.com).

(Sandy Lender has been an editor in the magazine publishing industry for sixteen years, is an editor in the book publishing industry and is the author of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, available from
www.archebooks.com.)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Word of the Day
Obverse (adjective) — in logic, the complement of a statement; serving as a counterpart (you know—opposites attract?); having the opposite of something (from Latin meaning "to turn toward")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, the arrogant, greedy Godric Taiman is the obverse partner to the lovely, compassionate Kora Rothahn.

Your turn! Do you have any sentences in you that show complementary forces today? Let's see your creativity stir this one up.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tuesday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch."
— Ivern Ball


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a day full of enthusiasm!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including the second installment of our punctuation series of Grammar Guides and the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Grammar Guide
Punctuate for Clarity, Part II, The Use of the Serial Comma

(Ed. note: I do not use serial commas in this article, pursuant to AP style.)

The serial comma is the last comma before the conjunction in a series of items in a sentence.

Example: Chariss, Nigel, Rohne, and Henry leave the Arcanan estate in my epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods.

The final comma after “Rohne” is referred to as the serial comma. What’s unique about it is how much trouble it can cause for writers.

If you’re writing a novel, business letter, personal letter to a friend, book report, etc., you use the serial comma.

If you’re writing an article for the newspaper, a magazine, a letter to the editor or some other journalistic medium, you do not use the serial comma. That’s the preferred style of the Associated Press. Now, if the items in the list include a complex construction, the serial comma is retained for clarity.

Example: Loetha and Lahs, Hrazon and Mia, and one of the guards joined Nigel and Chariss on their trip to Arcana City that evening. Nigel felt foolish with so many chaperones along for the journey.

Do you see the serial comma? It's the one after Mia's name. Because the group traveling to the city is split into pairs, its members' names are combined in the list, creating compound subjects in the list. Loetha and Lahs is one compound subject. Hrazon and Mia is the next. The elements of the series contain their own conjunctions, making the sentence more cumbersome if you leave out the serial comma.

When writing a term paper or thesis for a grade, you may be asked to follow other stylebooks that dictate the serial comma’s use, and you should refer to and follow those guides. (Chicago Manual of Style, MLA, your professor’s latest mood swing, etc.)

For additional information on commas, the Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law is your Bible. As I pointed out in yesterday's Grammar Guide, its bent is toward journalism, thus there will be minor differences in punctuation rules when using AP versus "normal" English. For "normal" English, I recommend Creative Writer's Handbook (fourth edition) by Philip K. Jason (a friend of mine) and Allan B. Lefcowitz (available from www.prenhall.com/english) and Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss (available from http://www.penguin.com/).

(Sandy Lender has been an editor in the magazine publishing industry for sixteen years, is an editor in the book publishing industry and is the author of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, available from www.archebooks.com.)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Word of the Day
Infatuated (adjective) — possessed by unreasonable, foolish, crazed attraction to something or someone; having extreme and extravagant passion or love for something or someone; to be deprived of sound judgment where an object of desire is concerned; Duran Duran fans (from Latin)

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, Abigail Farrier is so infatuated with Nigel Taiman that her father fears the man has actually cast a love spell over her, and moves the entire family to another continent to evade the spell's influence.

Your turn! Do you have any fabulous sentences about infatuation? I know my Duranie sistahs do…if any of them are paying attention to the blog today. He he he.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"We can accomplish almost anything within our ability if we but think we can!"
— George Matthew Adams


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a fabulous and successful week!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including a new grammar guide and the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Grammar Guide
Punctuate for Clarity, Part I, General Overview

(Ed. note: I do not use serial commas in this article, pursuant to AP style.)

No matter what stylebook you're using, there's a disclaimer in there somewhere about punctuation. For all the rules about commas, semicolons and where question marks go in relation to closing quotation marks, simplifying your syntax is usually the best prescription for clarifying your statements.

What?

It's the KISS principle applied to punctuation. If you've constructed a 175-word declarative with a participial phrase or two and something set off in a parenthetical, and you're trying to remember whether or not to capitalize the word after the colon, it's time to start over. Consider editing that sentence into two or more thoughts that your reader can follow without getting tired or lost.

The point of writing good paragraphs is not to impress the reader with lofty prose and convoluted structure. The point is to get your message across in a clear and concise manner that moves the reader. You want sentences of varying lengths. Your words should already be a part of your audience's lexicon. And your punctuation should reflect a style that your readers are used to. Too many semicolons, serial commas and run-on sentences will tire the reader quickly, if not lose him/her completely. Let me give you an example of a sentence you won't find in my book, Choices Meant for Gods.

"Chariss ran the few paces to the obedient girl and stood between her and the bend in the road with her feet shoulder-width apart and her arms raised to cock the bow before her, where Hrazon saw her now as he pushed his way through the people blocking the doorway to hear the roar of something large down the lane; saw her standing there posed like a warrior; saw her thin arms bulged with muscle and tension as she stood with the bow poised taut against her strength while they all held their breath, wondering what was happening until a ryfel appeared—not rounding the bend or running up to her, but materializing as if in the training arena."

Did you get past the fourth or fifth line? Let me offer a disclaimer right now and say that I would never write something as crazy as that. (I hope.)

Here's the way the passage actually appears in my fantasy novel. Note the use of commas, different sentence lengths and alliteration to move the words.

"Chariss ran the few paces to the obedient girl and stood between her and the bend in the road. She stood with her feet shoulder-width apart and her arms raised to cock the bow before her. Hrazon had pushed his way through the people blocking the doorway now and heard the roar of something large down the lane. He looked at his girl standing there posed like a warrior. Her thin arms bulged with muscle and tension as she stood, waiting, watching, with the bow poised taut against her strength.

"They all held their breath, wondering what was happening.

"A ryfel appeared out of nowhere. It hadn't rounded the bend. It hadn't run up to her. It just materialized before her as if in the training area. Nigel shuddered when he recognized the beast and called back into the house, "Henry! My sword!""

While it's all well and good for a writer and editor to tell you to break things down and keep punctuation simple, I know you're looking for specifics when you look up punctuation rules in the Grammar Guides here. Thus this is the first in a short series of common punctuation mark discussions we'll have over the next few days to help you punctuate clearly and correctly.

Before we close today's installment, let me recommend a couple of resources. For general style issues concerning Standard English grammar and writing, Strunk and White's The Elements of Style is a nice book, but the editors aren't as in-depth as I'd like on many issues. SparkNotes' Ultimate Style The Rules of Writing is also good, but just as shallow as Strunk and White. For journalists, the Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law is your Bible. Buy the most current version and memorize it. (I'm not joking.) AP also has a Guide to Punctuation, but, keep in mind, the bent is toward journalism, thus magazine/newspaper reporting. There will be minor differences in punctuation rules when using AP versus Standard English grammar. For Standard English grammar, I recommend Creative Writer's Handbook (fourth edition) by Philip K. Jason (a friend of mine) and Allan B. Lefcowitz (available from www.prenhall.com/english) and Eats, Shoots & Leaves The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss (available from www.penguin.com).

(Sandy Lender has been an editor in the magazine publishing industry for sixteen years, is an editor in the book publishing industry and is the author of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, available from www.archebooks.com.)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Monday, March 24, 2008

Word of the Day
Fortification (noun) — check out how much this differs from yesterday's Word of the Day — something that serves to defend; something that strengthens; the science of securing and fortifying; the art of adding strength to a structure or invigorating (from Latin meaning "strong")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy trilogy Choices Meant for Gods, Chariss is the fortification Nigel Taiman never knew he needed when he experiences change, loss, sorrow and growth.

Your turn! My sentence was a little less "tangible" than you might want to be, but it's all up to you. Get creative and show us how to use today's Word of the Day!

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sunday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
— St. John 15: 12-13


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a Happy Easter!
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Writer's Guide Idea for Easter Bunnies
Let's Journal About Pet Rabbits

First…I'll write a jaunty limerick at the end of this post for your entertainment (and, yes, I'll admit to writing the silly thing) if you'll make an attempt to write one in the comment field today.—Promise?

Now! Easter is a religious holiday in my life, but it's also an opportunity to immerse oneself in total cuteness of fluffy chicks and hoppy bunnies. Strolling through pet stores this time of year is sure to get me to go "oooooo" in a manner more befitting someone less than half my age and I.Q. But who cares? Bunnies are too cute to look at without the accompanying sound effects.

What kills me, though, is the number of parents who surprise Little Miss Muffet with a pet rabbit on Easter Sunday morning. What's a 10-year-old going to do with a house rabbit? Does a 16-year-old even know what to do with a pet rabbit when it neglects to use its litterbox? Does a college student have time to clean a rabbit cage every day? And let me tell you, from personal experience, yes, you want to clean the cage every day. Rabbit pee is stinky. It's stinky every day.

My bunnies were named Abby and Sniffles. And they were adorable! I got them when I was an adult, living in an apartment. Oh, no, the apartment manager had no idea. I was very careful about using wood putty to cover all the teeth marks in the baseboards before I moved out so I could get my security deposit back…

While living with Abby and Sniffles, I also learned to be careful about keeping electrical cords up off the floor. You also need extra litter boxes in obvious places when bunnies are out playing, but it's a good idea to keep a dust buster charged up for bunny "pellet" trails (because you never know what's going to surprise the crap out of a bunny just on the spur of the moment). I used to keep a stash of Frosted Mini-wheats on hand at all times, too. (Abby would sit up and beg for a Frosted Mini-wheat, and then take it in her front paws and munch it down like it was manna from Heaven.) For all the precautions I took watching those little munchkins when they were out playing, I have a dictionary with a chewed spine and a Monopoly game lid that looks like it went through a mulcher because both were under the edge of the bed one day…one day when I lost track of one of the little hoppers for too long…

I guess the point I wish to make is that pet rabbits may be adorable, but they require much patience, much attention and much rearranging of your furniture. Because they're members of the rodent family, rabbits have front teeth that don't stop growing. This means they chew on everything in sight. By providing them wood toys, you can abate some of the destruction to your home and furniture, but not all. Bunnies don't understand why they're not allowed to munch on the soft, pleasurable wood of the chair your dad made 20-plus years ago—and the matching end table. So they'll drop the silly carrot-shaped chunk of wood you bought at the pet store and go back to the chair (or table) the moment your back's turned. Sometimes, they don't have the decency to wait until your back's turned…Sniffles would look at me, drop the toy and hop over to the chair to start munching while I stooped over to pick her up.

Keep in mind that bunnies have teeth as sharp as their will.

So if you've made the mistake of purchasing a pet rabbit for a young child this Easter, well, you know, it might work out just fine. It may be a great relationship that turns out to be what the child needed to learn responsibility and affection for God's creatures. Or you may be looking for someone to adopt said rabbit in a couple of weeks.

There are organizations all over the states that help with such things. Most major metropolitan areas have house rabbit clubs or societies that, at the least, give advice, or, in some cases, take in the pets to find them new homes. A national organization called the House Rabbit Society can help put you in touch with one in your area and can provide you some good information for raising your new pet rabbit. Visit the House Rabbit Society Web site to get started in your research. http://www.rabbit.org/chapters/index.html

Now! Because this blog is designed for writers, and today's blog instructs you to journal about pet bunnies, let's get you some inspiration. For intense cuteness, see bunny blog videos and whatnot here: http://rabbitbites.com/blog/?cat=9

There are also adorable pictures at the House Rabbit Society. http://www.rabbit.org/fun/net-bunnies.html I encourage you to visit there often (and to donate to their efforts if you can).

Have a peaceful, happy Easter. And don't forget about your silly bunny limerick! As promised, here's mine:

There once was a cute little bunny
Who wanted to learn to make honey
She went to the bees
Who fell to their knees
Laughing because it seemed funny


I know, it's dorky, but just picture the cute little bunny with the cute little laughing bees. :) I'm sure you can probably do better...


"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Sunday, March 23, 2008
Word of the Day
Citadel (noun) — a stronghold; a fortified place; a fortress; a bulwark; a central structure within a city; the fortress that commands a city (from Old Italian meaning "city")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, the story opens with Chariss standing in the citadel of Treown where her benefactor has left her to go join his neighbor in the war against the evil sorcerer Jamieson Drake.

Your turn! Do you have any creative uses for today's word?

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Saturday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"Learn to pause…or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you."
—Doug King


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender encourages you to slow down and color Easter eggs. (Seriously...I colored Easter eggs this afternoon and just threw bread out for a duck that keeps waddling back and forth past the door here behind my den. She looked in "longingly" one too many times...They were both very calming activities.)
Keep reading for more of today's posts, including the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Economic Stimulus Payments Will Take Time to Reach Writers
Or…starving writers should file 2007 taxes and continue to starve until late spring, early summer

Even though I'll be receiving my economic stimulus payment/reimbursement in, oh, late June, I'm still very thankful to be getting anything at all. If the Internal Revenue Service times it right, I'll already have my divorce finalized and won't have to give half my check to an idiot who feels entitled to half my future earnings because he's too stupid to get a job. Hmm. Or maybe the problem is that I was the stupid one for maintaining employment while he sat on his growing can for years.

But I digress.

The point of this post was to let all ya'll know that if you're waiting for your economic stimulus payment to arrive to help you purchase writing supplies, printer ink, food, etc., it might be a long wait. First, you must file your taxes as you normally would. If you normally wouldn't (for instance, if you're a lower-income worker, which many starving writers are, or you receive Social Security or veterans' benefits), you will need to file this year to stimulate the stimulus… You get the idea. Dude, to get the $300 to $600 back, just file and be thankful it's an easy form.

Here's the timetable for receiving your rebate, based on the last two digits of your Social Security number, if you're set up to receive your normal tax refunds through direct deposit. (Personally, I feel very uncomfortable giving that control to the IRS, even when I have this sneaking suspicion that they can just take it when they want it. ***I glance nervously over my shoulder at the camera above the bookshelf.***)

Last 2 Digits...Direct Deposit by
00-20...May 2
21-75...May 9
76-99...May 16

If you're receiving your refunds the old-fashioned way, you could be waiting until after the middle of the year. But, hey, with the housing market the way it is, the government workers know no one is moving, so mailing things to us will be easy.
Last 2 digits...Check's in the mail by
00-09...May 16
10-18...May 23
19-25...May 30
26-38...June 6
39-51...June 13
52-63...June 20 (happy birthday, John Taylor!)
64-75...June 27
76-87...July 4 (ummm…I see a flaw in this plan)
88-99...July 11

For slightly more information (but a less entertaining/sarcastic tone), visit http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=180247,00.html.

"Some days, I just want the dragon to roast the IRS."
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Saturday, March 22, 2008
Word of the Day
Errancy
(noun) — the state of having gone astray; in religious circles, it's the state of being in doctrinal error; being in error (from Middle English meaning "to wander about")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, Chariss is slowly coming to the realization that the errancy of the supposed priests and other followers of The Master Rothahn rankles the god, causing him more angst than He at first lets show.

Your turn! Do you have any sentences showing creativity going astray? :) Seriously, let's see what convoluted and fabulous examples of error and confusion you can give us today!

"Some days, I just want the dragon to screw up and eat someone."
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Friday, March 21, 2008

Good Friday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by 'I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.' Hungry not only for bread—but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing—but naked of human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a home of bricks—but homeless because of rejection."
— Mother Teresa

Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you a peaceful, thoughtful day.

(Keep reading for a great journaling question, a mostly insane rant on how to get arrested with your writing and the interactive Word of the Day. If you're looking for the meme everyone's talking about, that was posted on Tuesday, so you'll have to dig in the archives at left. The Cadbury eggsperiment with the link to the Cadbury cake was posted in Thursday's mix. Enjoy!)
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Writers' Guide: Inspiring Question for Good Friday
Or…The Dragon says journal about this one…

We want you to share your answer in the comment field, but feel free to use this thought-provoking question in your journaling or short story exercises today!

Describe your outlook on life or your point of view in meteorological terms (such as windy, partly cloudy, tornadic, etc.).

For a while there, Fantasy Author Sandy Lender's point of view had become cloudy with 100 percent chance of a Cat 5 hurricane—seek shelter. You know…get under the mattress in the bathtub now! Now! Don't wait! The sirens are going off now!

Luckily, I don't like having that kind of outlook (despite the heavy post below with all its negativity—hopefully folks see the sarcasm laced throughout and can laugh at it with me). So! Even though the practical, down-to-earth side of me sees some partly cloudy skies ahead, I see a lot of sunshine, too. (Hey, I live in Florida and I write books for fun. How can I NOT see sunshine ahead?)

Your turn! What's your outlook?
AND!
When you sit down to journal with this, think about this question for your main character in your current WIP. It's a great exercise.
Those of you who have read Choices Meant for Gods know that Chariss starts out with a pretty rainy outlook, doesn't she? But there's an arc that character's going through…like a pretty rainbow in the sky… ;)

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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How to Get Arrested With Your Writing
Or…The Dragon vents with acrid smoke

Regular visitors to Today the Dragon Wins should know by now that I can get fussy at times. I've been dealing with some anger-inducing issues for…oh…21 months? And those issues seem to be compounding rather than abating at the moment. Rar.

The good news is I've kept my sense of humor (or so I believe).

The bad news is I've used that sense of humor to imply a creditor is a member of the Mafia in a letter I mailed yesterday. ***insert maniacal giggling here***

You see, when I was "downsized" back in the summer of 2006, the idiot (and that term of endearment is supposed to be evidence of my sense of humor; I could use a horrid, naughty word to describe him if I didn't have the "amusement" factor turned on in my brain) I was married to decided that was excellent timing for a trip to Poland where he could sit on a mountain for the better part of a month thinking deep Catholic thoughts. This meant our financial situation became less-than-stellar. My attempts to "thin" our budget were thwarted in a few areas (namely the DISH Network subscription) upon his return to our country because he found it prudent to use his retirement account to renew the subscription so he could continue watching Battlestar Galactica (which I will admit right here and now to enjoying, if I hadn't been working at a bar on most Friday nights to make money for utilities at that time) and baseball (which I will also admit to enjoying).

Now, he did not find it prudent to use his retirement account to contribute to the mortgage payments; that's what my retirement account was for. But that's a diatribe for another day. My point today leans toward the DISH Network situation.

I tried on more than one occasion to cancel the subscription. He managed to arrest that. Fine. Some people need television to deal with stress, and, because he wasn't looking for employment, but was applying to schools around the country to continue his can-sitting, he had a great deal of stress.

When he fled the state May 31, 2007, he informed me that he'd "paid up" the DISH bill and "closed" a few other things (again, we can save those for another rant if they ever apply to writing). Fabulous. I wished to cancel the DISH bill. I got the run-around when I called in. Bizarre. "Is the account current or not?" The answer was "no". By then, I'd been employed for four months, thank God, so I paid some $90+ bill and asked them to shut it down. When I was still able to watch television when I turned it on about a week or two later, I figured I had paid the thing forward. So I called back. "Is this account canceled or not?" The answer was something akin to "it's not current." I replied that it had to be.

Fast forward because this is where writing comes in. I now live in an apartment because that house is in foreclosure (my retirement account went a little "dry" while trying to make those mortgage payments during my unemployment from Ave Maria Family-Oriented University). Some creditor has now tracked me down demanding $75.67. Why? Obviously the $90+ I paid (twice, if I remember it all right) back in the summer of 2007 wasn't enough. They want more. Their letter reads: "By this time, you must realize that you are delinquent."

Criminy. So my letter to them reads:
By this time, I must realize that you are members of the Mafia and I am not the member of the Lender household who owes anything to Dish Network. But to get you to leave ME alone and stop hounding ME for the rest of my natural life, I am paying the paltry $75.67 because it is worth it to have peace in my life.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
May you all be hounded in a similar fashion,
Sandy Lender


Freaks. Now, I am very proud of myself for not including swear words, because I've heard of people getting fined for vulgarity. But I'm very pissed off. How dare these people hound ME when I paid them—repeatedly—for services I tried—repeatedly—to terminate? How can companies get away with that kind of activity? I realize one unit of my household kept cutting me off at the pass, thus I am probably responsible for this bill, no matter how it was incurred, but it still pisses me off. I even shipped back their receiver and remote in their fancy little UPS box…

So what do you think? Am I going to get a knock on my door from Sheriff John Brown? Bwuahahahaha. You know, I've probably got the Broward County folks coming after me for the confused-toll-road incident around 1 a.m. Sunday, the DISH Network goons coming after me for venting my frustrations…who else can I get on my tail? With any luck, I'll be serving a prison sentence before the year's out and I won't be able to pay Idiot-Boy his pretty little alimony payment so he can sit on his can reading law text books and playing computer war games for fun. Bwuahahahaha.

Here's where I have my ethical dilemma about what I've written. This is Good Friday. I'm supposed to a nice, forgiving, compassionate, caring child of God today. Now, yes, I wrote and mailed the letter yesterday. But, still…Have I become so angry and jaded that I can't forgive members of the Mafia for hounding me for something the 7-year-old moron I was married to got me into? If you stop and think about it, $75 is not so big a deal in the grand scheme of things. I'm about to watch a $300,000 house (it was never worth that) go up for auction and bring in about $150,000 (if I'm lucky). And because an underhanded mortgage broker helped my underhanded soon-to-be-ex get his name off the mortgage, guess who's stuck with that noise. All ya'll know what that means for my financial future.

Maybe I'm just so sick and tired of the constant stress of 21 months of spiraling toward insanity, foreclosure, bankruptcy and divorce that I'm ready to lash out at whoever's causing the stress on a given day. If that's the case, I need to practice journaling, as I suggest often on this site, rather than sending spiteful little diatribes to creditors who are just doing their jobs. (Even if I think those jobs are just beneath used-car-salesman on the totem pole of jobs-that-suck-your-very-soul-out-of-your-very-aura.)

Almanzo Wilder used to tell Laura Ingalls, the rich man gets his ice in the summer and the poor man gets his in the winter. My winter is almost here…gimme an ice pick, Baby.
***maniacal giggling goes here***

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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Friday, March 21, 2008
Word of the Day
Exculpatory (adjective) — proving blameless; proving guiltless; clearing of a charge (from Latin meaning "removal away from blame")

Word in a Sentence: In the fantasy trilogy Choices Meant for Gods, Hrazon seeks exculpatory evidence to clear Chariss in the murder of a woman in the Taiman home to prove her goodness to the lesser goddess Mia.

Your turn! Yes, look at that! We're getting into Book II with our example sentences, aren't we? The plot thickens… But you have some creative sharing to do, too, oh visitor! Can you provide a clever sentence with today's Word of the Day?

"Some days, I just wan the dragon to win."
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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday's Inspirational Quote of the Day for Writers
"Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match."
— Ingrid Bengis


Fantasy Author Sandy Lender wishes you an imaginative, creative day.
Keep reading for today's Cadbury egg experiment (which is crazy) and the interactive Word of the Day for all you visiting writers.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Cadbury chocolate crème egg?
Or…The Dragon gives you this Easter treat quandary

I'm sure you've seen the Web sites where bored college students microwave marshmallow peeps until the poor things expand to the size of Chihuahuas and the density of neutron stars. Now I've got a new Easter experiment for you that doesn't involve ruining one of the two plastic plates you've got left to your name.

It's an experiment that hearkens back to our childhood days when a cartoon child sought the wisdom of a cartoon owl in a cartoon commercial for a cartoon sucker. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll Pop? Too many, I'm sure. And who cares? The Tootsie-Roll center always had shards of candy shell in it.

Let's go for the chocolate equivalent of that Einsteinian quandary.

How many licks does it take to get the center of a Cadbury chocolate crème egg? These masters of disguise have been hiding their nutritious goodness from us for years so it's time to investigate other truths about them. I mean, did you know these babies pack 4% of your daily calcium requirement into each egg? They each contain a full gram of protein. They only have 3 grams of saturated fat per serving. People! They're a veritable cornucopia of chocolaty delightfulness in one little package.

The only problem with eating a Cadbury chocolate crème egg is biting in and dribbling yolk down your chin. Sigh. What can you do? The answer, my friend, lies in licking your way to the center. Do you have the patience? Can you make it? How many licks does it take?

Scientific Method:
1. unwrap one Cadbury Crème Egg
2. lick chocolate outer layer of egg until tongue comes into contact with yolk center

# of licks: 295

Variables: density of egg wall where you choose to excavate and strength of individual tongue (I'll leave all the innuendo up to you visitors)

This was a grueling exercise, but, as you can see from the images, I didn't put myself through it. I found a friend who didn't think I was insane until about 50 licks into the project. He swore me to some form of anonymity so the pictures are cropped. (They're also out of focus, but that's because I did a poor job of zooming in on the eggs—plural.) Yes, the poor fellow fell into the Tootsie-Roll-Pop trap and originally bit one of the eggs, as seen in the fourth image, which I refer to as "The Aftermath". But success was achieved, as seen in the rather bizarre and probably pornographic third image. I'm not sure if you can tell but the sides of the egg are about to cave under the stress of meltage.

When performing this eggsperiment at home, keep a couple glasses of water and moist paper towels close at hand for the scientist. Mine had to stop and get the taste of Cadbury out of his mouth more than once before breaking through to the yolk. He's not fond of Cadbury chocolate (or the inner yolk), which boggles my mind.

Now, lest you think I'm alone in this insanity, allow me to point out others who have screwed around with these eggs, too. Check out this bizarre young man. Looks like a college student… You will either be offended by the total disregard for chocolate shells or by the vulgarity, but you have GOT to admit, this is a fabulous experiment and blog post. I direct you to http://bigmixup.com/content/cadbury-cake/.


Happy Easter!

"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."
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